Holiday Morphing
“No one should be alone on Christmas.” —Cindy Lou Who
Every holiday season seems to present a new twist lately. My wife and I were “movers away”; we both moved from our families in our twenties, me for a job and her to be with me. Because we’re far from our relatives, Christmas can and has taken on a different dimension nearly every year we’ve been together. Some years were Minnesota Christmases, others in upstate New York, and once we had kids, there were Wisconsin Christmases.
As much as I’m not a fan of winter, I love the excitement leading up to Christmas. What was once about gifts has now become about being with family. Well, presents too. I never grew out of that phase, apparently.
A Letterman Rundown
Because there are so many fond memories of Christmases past, I’m going to run down ten of the most memorable. I hope that some of these resonate with you and bring back memories you’ve carried with you.
1. We typically celebrated on Christmas Eve, when we hosted relatives. One year on the night before Christmas Eve, I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited about what lay ahead the next day. For some reason, I went downstairs only to find my oldest sister, Pat, shuffling presents around the tree. When I mentioned I was so amped up because of Christmas Eve that I couldn’t sleep, she told me to help her mix the presents up under the tree. Because of my father’s death at a young age, much of my sister’s life was relegated to playing the mother role while Mom was at work. She was the Queen Bee to us younger siblings. So when she offered to have me help, it was a tender moment where we sat in the quiet and sorted presents. I don’t know why this memory has stuck, but it’s how I want to remember the softness of my sister beneath her hardened matronly shell.
2. When Mom used to host Christmas Eve on Portland Avenue, it was always a loud, smoky, festive affair. Grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins arrived around 5:00 and for many years, Mom served either turkey or prime rib dinner. The kids were always in charge of doing dishes under the threat of “no presents until the dishes are done.” In our house, the gifts were passed out by the eldest uncle, then our stepfather and eventually our oldest brother dressed as Santa. (Who particularly appreciated his wine that year, as I recall.) When the gifts were passed out, the beautiful mass chaos of everybody opening at once started. No orderliness of taking turns and appreciation, just unbridled gift gorging. It was both beautiful and horrifying.
3. For a few years, my brother and I would go to Midnight Mass at St. Luke’s. It was always after the chaos of the gift opening and was a great way to rest in the quiet and beauty of song and the Christmas story. The church was right across the street from where we lived, so we always walked to service. Every year my brother would hockey-check me into a snowbank and run ahead back to the house as I followed in chase. And every year, I forgot he had done it the year before. Grown kids being kids.
4. My wife and I were talking about the accouterments of Christmas that made it special. Bowls of mixed nuts with a nutcracker nearby and candy dishes with ribbon candy and Hershey kisses. My favorite were the raspberry hard candies that had jelly centers. I can almost taste them.
5. One Christmas, my biggest request was an electric football game. I saw nothing under the tree big enough to be that game, so when the last present was passed out, I felt dejected. It was then that my brother and sister pulled it out of a nearby closet. It was the best present I ever got. I spent hours around that buzzing, metallic field watching little players dance in circles with locked arms.
6. Mom always spent one Saturday “calling Santa,” who must have had some sort of telepathic connection to the Wards Christmas catalog that we’d drawn our lists from. Ironically, I ended up working at the Wards Catalog Dock for a handful of years in the early 80s. I remember working on Christmas Eve a few times. It was chaotic and busy, but everyone was in good spirits, and it felt good to be working knowing what evening festivities lay ahead. The days after Christmas when I worked at the returns counter were not quite as idyllic and beautiful. Ha!
7. On a couple of trips to New York for Christmas, we were stuck in debilitating snowstorms. Because the route parallels three of the Great Lakes, it was a recipe for lake effect snowfall disasters every year we made the trek. One trip out to NY brought traffic to an hour and a half standstill during a record-breaking Erie, Pennsylvania blizzard. Another came during our ride home a different year when our van gave me issues where it wouldn’t go faster than 45 MPH because of an acceleration inhibitor, a manufacturer’s recall that we found out about later. We ended up staying at a hotel in South Bend, Indiana. As luck would have it, the next day the van ran without issue and we made it home.
8. After Mom moved to a small apartment, my sister Jane started hosting Christmas. Our Christmases on Sterling Avenue were festive and always saw a visit from Renta Claus. He’d come in the front door with a bag of presents for the little ones. His visit included pictures with the kids and a couple of carols. He always got his own present in an envelope on the way out. It was a bit of magic for the kids.
9. We hosted a few New York family gatherings at our house in Waukesha. Because it was so far for the New Yorkers to travel, we typically did a “Thanksmas” celebration. It meant having Thanksgiving one day and Christmas the next. My in-laws even had matching Thanksmas sweatshirts made for the occasion. I will say the gift opening was a much more muted (civilized?) affair with people taking turns opening, from oldest to youngest.
10. One of the more memorable recent Christmases was celebrated at my daughter and her partner’s apartment on Portland Avenue in Minneapolis. (The irony was not lost on me that some of my best Christmas memories were on Portland Avenue in St. Paul, decades earlier, but I digress.) It was a cramped affair, but we had all of us together, which is the important thing. I forget what we had for dinner, a pasta dish I think, but I remember chairs were at a premium. They were gracious hosts despite the cramped quarters. It was a case of making do with what we had, and it felt so good just being with one another.
So, despite changing venues, characters and traditions, Christmas and the holidays have always been a time of warmth and joy. This and every year, I hope you enjoy it while surrounded by family or friends.
Happy Holidays!
We had little bowls of nuts and ribbon candy too at Christmas. I remember those raspberry candies with soft centers. I loved them too! We also had some little square candies that looked like pillows but were supposed to be gifts I think.
In our Christmas stocking we always got an orange.
Thanks for the memories and happy holidays to you.
Happy Christmas, Landwehrs! And I will be alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. All good!